


(Tonight) We Burn Like Stars That Never Die

by novaprospekt



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/F, Hollstein - Freeform, Some angst, candy stars au, hsau i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 04:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8475472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novaprospekt/pseuds/novaprospekt
Summary: A jar full of stars offers good luck, a wish, or a symbol of someone’s love. For Carmilla Karnstein, it is just a matter who she gives it to. To Ell, a crush made only to distract herOrTo Laura, the best friend she’s been hopelessly in love with since they were kids.Either way, Carmilla knows she’s going to get her heart broken.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Candy Stars AU  
> Ch 1. - Carm's POV  
> Ch 2. - Laura's POV  
> Ch 3. - Third person narrative
> 
> Title is from Hammock

_I swear to God. Every time I look at the clock, the minutes go by even slower. I just want the school day to be over already but that stupid clock just keeps messing with me. Luckily it is my last class of the day, even if it is just Study Hall._

_I wonder what Laura is doing right now._

_World History. Obviously._

_-Sigh-_

_To be fair, I actually enjoy Study Hall. The first 20 minutes of it, that is. For the rest of it, it is ridiculously boring. I really shouldn’t complain. I never bring home any homework. Benefits of having Study Hall as your last class for the day, I suppose._

_As I wait for that stupid clock to signal our dismissal, I manage to get myself lost in my own thoughts while pretending to be reading a copy of Catcher In The Rye. I’m actually staring at this tiny paper star I am idly playing with, with my free hand. Laura made it for me during lunch earlier from a Hershey’s wrapper. Part of this gift project for -_

# RRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNNG

Ugh. Finally _._ _I groaned to myself as I begin to collect my things. I quickly exit the room and head to the usual spot. Our usual spot. I can hardly contain my excitement even if this has became an annual thing for us but I just can not wait. So I quicken my steps._

_Since her class is closer to our usual meet up spot, she’s always the first one there waiting patiently for me. As I approach the spot, I put a immediate halt to my speed as soon as I saw the familiar backside of a very tall, annoying ginger._

_I instantly feel my heart fall into my stomach when I see a pair of arms wrapped around her waist. Arms I wish that would hold me. Arms that would love me but don’t, not in the way that I want them to._

_I approach more slowly, making known of my sudden presences by making a gagging sound._

“Oh. It’s just fang face.” _The Tree said as she gives me a sour look_

“And here I thought Laura was hugging a tree.” _I snarled back while returning the look_

“Carmilla…”

_Oh God. Just the way she says my name…_

_I huffed, folding my arms as I turn around so I no longer have to look at Tree. Or at least not let Tree get the upper hand because I was appearing starstruck infront of Laura._

“Anyway.” _The Tree muttered_. “Let me know if you are free tomorrow night?”

“Sure. I’ll have to ask my dad.” _Laura replied_

“Cool. So, I’ll see you later?” _The Tree asked_

_I take a quick glance over my shoulder._

 

_Big mistake._

_They’re holding each other’s hands._

_And I feel my heart sink further._

_At least they haven’t kissed yet._

_I fear of that day ever coming. Of Tree having the freedom to kiss Laura._

_MY Laura._

_The lips that I should be kissing._

_Lips that I always imagine kissing._

_Lips that I want to kiss._

_Forget staying over at Laura’s house. I’d just run straight home after seeing something like that. Run straight home to bawl my eyes out even if Mother is there. Mother wouldn’t be able to hurt me because I’d already be numb from the pain of seeing Lau-._

“Carm?” _Laura’s voice makes me jump. Then again, it always make me jump._

“Hm?” _I hummed_

“Are you alright?” _She softly smiles at me_

“Yeah. Just thinking. Stuff.” _I try to shrug it off_

_She loops her arm around mine and we begin walking._

“So. Are you almost done with your gift?” _Laura asks_

“Yeah. Just about.” _I answered_ “Do you think Ell will like it?”

_Silence._

“I think she’d be stupid not too.” _Laura finally spoke_

_Did Laura’s voice just falter? And why the sudden hesitation?_

“I don’t understand why you like her. She’s kind of a snob.” _Wow, ok._ _Laura’s tone certainly changed rather quickly_

“Just because she’s popular…” _I try to argue but stopped when I had nothing_

“I know. I know. But she hardly notices you even if you do have a mad crush on her.” _Laura sighs_

_I remain silent. I’m just tired of having the same disagreement with her._

“I mean, you can do so much better.” _I feel her arm leave mine only to stop me in my tracks._ “If you can have any girl you wanted, AND DON’T SAY ELL.” _She gestured by pointing her finger at me_ “who would it be?”

You. _I thought to myself._ You are all that I want. You. You. You.

_Her eyes have this sparkle in them as she gazes at me like I am that present she wanted for so long, that lights her up Christmas morning. Her smile is so innocent yet so breathtaking._

“No one.” _I lied as I turn to start walking again_

 _Laura huffs as I hear her pick up the pace again_ “Clearly, you don’t get out much.”

“I get out!” _I defended_

“No, you don’t miss grumpy pants.” _She teases with a slight bump in the shoulder_

“Ok, Cupid. Who do you see me being with?” _I asked sarcastically_

“Not Ell. That’s for sure.” _Laura quickly added_

“You’re one to talk.” _I retorted_

“What’s that suppose to mean?” _Laura squeaked. That was cute._

“You and Tree?” _I raised an eyebrow glance at her_

_She just throws up her hands in defeat with her mouth hanging open in a soft smile. God, she’s so cute._

“The height difference?” _I made a gesture with my hand above my head_

“So?!?!” _Laura’s voice squeaked again. Damn it._ “Danny has other great qualities too!”

“Yeah, being able to see ontop of buildings.” _I said._

_She laughs and I feel my heart swelling. My God, is her laughter amazing to hear. I find myself smiling just at the sound of it as we finally reach our destination._

 

/

 

_Laura’s home has always felt like a home. Once you cross over the threshold of the front door, this incredible feeling of warmth hits you. A feeling full of love in its purest form. I can never have something like that. Then again, in some way, Laura is my home. She is everything mine isn’t._

_I follow Laura’s lead to the kitchen only to be greeted by Laura’s father._

“Hey, girls. How was school?” _Mr. Hollis greeted without even having to look up from the newspaper he was reading_

“Great!” _Laura happily admitted while planting a kiss on her father’s cheek_

_I bet that would feel amazing._

_Her lips on my cheek._

_Scratch that._

_Her lips on mine.._

“Hello, Mr. Hollis.” _I respectably greeted_

“Carmilla! Did you have lunch today?” _Mr. Hollis asks, breaking his focus to share a glance at me_

_Mr. Hollis doesn’t even have to ask me if I ate lunch today. He already knows the answer. Which is no. Especially on Friday’s._

“No, sir.” _I replied, only now noticing how hungry I really am_

“Excellent. I made your favorite.” _He stood up and walked toward the microwave_ “Meatball Italian sub.” _Mr. Hollis smiled as he placed a neatly wrapped plate onto the kitchen island._

“You didn’t have to –” _I tried to explain_

“Nonsense!” _He waved in dismissal_ “And I don’t want you girls staying up too late tonight. I don’t care if it is Friday. Understood?”

_I honestly don’t get how Mr. Hollis can be see so accepting and take such good care of me as if I was one of his own cubs. Most people usually don’t. I suppose it runs in the family._

“Yes, sir. I’ll have your daughter home by 11.” _I joked_

_Mr. Hollis exploded into a fit of laughter. I offered a smile to Laura but she’s looking elsewhere and –_

_– is….is she blushing?_

“Kid, you sure know how to make an old man laugh.” _Mr. Hollis chuckled_

“You’re not that old, Dad.” _Laura jumped in_

“I’m getting there.” _Mr. Hollis dejected_

“Yeah, ok. We’ll let you get there, grandpa. Oh! Dad, can Carm & I go to the park for awhile?” _Laura jumped with excitement_

“Sweetie, you know I don’t like you going to the park without any some sort of protection.” _Mr. Hollis argued_

“But I do have protection! Carm’s my protection!” _Laura smiled as she steps toward me and loops her arm with mine_

_Mr. Hollis takes a moment to look me over, scanning his eyes up and down my body while scratching at his chin._

“She does have that scary look to her.” _Mr. Hollis noted_

_I make a conflicting face to that response that makes Laura and Mr. Hollis laugh._

_I wonder if this is what family feels like._

_Well…_

“Alright. You kids can go.” _Mr. Hollis waved in dismissal_

“Thanks, dad! Come on, Carm. We’ll watch tv for a bit so you can eat your sandwhich then we can go.” _Laura tugged on my arm for me to follow her_

_I grab the plate from the kitchen island._

“Thanks for the sandwich, Mr. Hollis.” _I thanked as I started walking backwards towards the living room_

“My pleasure, Carmilla.” _Mr. Hollis smiled as he returned to his forgotten newspaper_

_/_

_We couldn’t stay long at the park. Mr. Hollis always wants Laura to be home before dark for obvious reasons. There have been times where he lets her out late, so long as I’m with her. I guess he seems to think I can protect her from harms way._

_He isn’t wrong. I’d do anything to protect her._

_However, he does have the wrong idea of what exactly danger is._

_If anything, Laura should be protected from me._

_I am death. I am destruction. I am fear._

_But if it lets us go hang out on some swings for awhile, then I shouldn’t argue._

_The park itself isn’t actually that far from Laura’s house. It’s only a couple blocks away and a shortcut to mine._

_As we arrived there, kids littered the park._

_Figures._

“Come on!” _Laura shouted as she took off running toward the swings_

_I can’t help but smile as I watch her race to the last available swing. By the time I have reached her, the kid next to her left his post. I quickly grabbed it and settle on it, slowly swinging myself onto it. I look over to Laura and see her moving slightly faster with her entire front body facing toward the sky as her seat leans forward._

_The tips of her hair grazes the surface of the sand as wind casts it away. The muscles in her arms flex with each pull on the chain and eases by every push. She sits up straight, catching me staring at her._

“What?” _Laura giggles at me_

_I didn’t realize the smile that was plastered on my face. I shake my head and quickly look away. God, if she found out I was blus-_

“Oh my god, you’re blushing!” _Laura declared_

_The closeness of her voice startles me, causing me to look back at her. Laura is now standing right infront of me with a big, teasing smile on her face._

_If only I could kiss that smile off her face._

_Damn it._

_Don’t think about her lips. Don’t think about her lips._

“Am not.” _I declined as I refuse to make eye contact with her_

“Yes, you were!” _Laura teased_ “Do you have a crush on me?”

_Son of…._

“No! Of course not.” _God, I hope that sounded convincing_

_That’s odd…_

_For a second, I thought I saw a crushed look on Laura’s face at my answer._

_I must have been imaging it because she’s all smiles and pushing me slightly on the swing._

“You jerk.” _Laura laughed_

_Awkward silence. I hate those. Laura is kicking some sand around with the tip of her shoe. That’s when I noticed that a little boy has taken Laura’s seat. I immediately got up, holding onto the chain so no little brat would steal it and gestured for Laura to have it._

“Are you sure?” _Laura’s eyes lite up for some reason_

“Yeah. I know how much you love the swings.” _I shrugged_

_Laura grabbed the chain I was holding onto, causing our hands to briefly touch. I feel bits of electricity flow through me from that small contact. I bite my lip as I try to conceal the flutter I feel in the pit of my stomach and my sudden rapid heartbeat._

/

 

“Hey Carm?” _Laura’s voice pulls my attention away from the TV screen just as Citzen Z issues another broadcast in Z Nation. That guy can be so annoying. Pup is cute though._

“Yeah?” _I answered_

“What did you mean earlier about me and Danny?” _Not this again. Anything but this._

“Refresh my memory.” _I lied_

“You kind of implied that Danny & I don’t really go together.”

_Well duh._

“What did you mean by that? Besides the obvious height differences.” _Laura persisted_

“I mean…look–” _I shifted to face her_ “You told me countless of times in the past few weeks that Danny is just like your father, right?”

“Yeah. She is..” _Laura’s words turn into a ghost_

“And we both know your dad approves of her so why lie about having to ask for permission to see her?” _I implied while ignoring the terrible ache in my chest from saying that_

“I don’t know. I guess, I feel like I’m dating her for all the wrong reasons.” _Laura’s eyes, her beautiful eyes, are focused onto a loose thread on her pajama bottoms_

“What reasons would that might be?” _I questioned curiously_

“I don’t know.” _Laura shook her head_

_I let out a deep breath as I shifted to face the TV again. Regretting what I’m about to confess._

“I guess I’m in the same boat as you.” _I admitted_

“You mean with Ell?”

_I nod in response. Trying my best to ignore Laura’s eyes burning a hole into me, hoping for my very heart to spill its secrets to her. I can not let that happen. I just simply can’t._

“Why do we do this to ourselves?”

“I don’t know about you but I have my reasons.” _I muttered_

_Fuck. Probably shouldn’t of said that._

“What are your reasons?”

_Damn it._

“Its complicated.” _I dismissed_

_Please drop it Laura._

_Luckily Laura stifles a yawn, causing me to check the time._

_10:46 Pm_

“Ready to hit the hay?” _I asked while pausing Netflix_

“Yeah. Might as well. My dad will be checking up on us anyway.” _Laura stands up to stretch as I shut off the TV and the digital box_

_I follow Laura’s lead upstairs to her room, suddenly realizing how tired I really am when a yawn escapes me. As we reach her room, I head to the bottom drawer of Laura’s dresser, pulling out a blanket and a bed spread sheet. I lay the bed sheet onto the floor next to Laura’s bed and throw the blanket onto the floor. Laura hands me one of her own pillows as she retreats to the bathroom. As I make my sleeping area comfortable, Laura returns shortly after. I stand up and returned to the bottom drawer, picking up a small clear, zipped bag and head to the bathroom._

_I take a moment to look at my reflection in the mirror. I see nothing but saddness and tiredness in my eyes, longing for the love that I can never have. I shake my thoughts out of my head by opening the small bag and pulling out a spare toothbrush. As I brush my teeth, I start to wonder how this all began._

_It is no doubt that this has become a weekly routine for me. Laura letting me come home with her on Friday’s, Mr. Hollis always having lunch ready for me, practically having my own drawer in Laura’s room when I stay the night…_

_I finish up and return to Laura’s room to find it dark and her already in bed. I put the small bag away into the bottom drawer and went to lay down onto my makeshift bed. A knock is heard from Laura’s door before it opens._

“You girls decent?” _Mr. Hollis asked through the crack_

“Yeah, we’re decent.” _Laura a_ _nswered_

_Mr. Hollis turns the light on and surveys the room quickly._

“Just wanted to make sure you girls aren’t planning to sneak out, again.” _Mr. Hollis tilts his head while giving me a look_

_I can’t help but laugh._

“No sneaking out, tonight.” _I put my hands up in defense_

“Good. Well, good night girls.” _Mr. Hollis wished as he flicked the lights off_

_Laura and I both say our good nights to him as the bedroom door closes, leaving us alone once again._

“You sure you are ok with sleeping on the floor?” _Laura asked quietly_

“Yes, Cupcake. We have this discussion every time. It’s alright.” _I replied_

“If you say so. But you do know you can always bunk with me. There’s enough room for the both of us?”

_That can never happen, no matter how much I want it to._

“I’m aware, cutie.”

_Silence falls upon us. When I begin to assume Laura has finally fallen asleep, I fall into the usual questioning of Laura and Mr. Hollis’s great generousity. Typically my family’s financial status and the known fact that my mother is always trying to reach the bottom of a bottle, is usually enough for people to stir clear from me._

_Everyone except Laura…_

 

_She opens her home of me. Accepts me for who I am. And sees what nobody else even took the time to try to see in me. But why?_

_What makes me so special? We are from two very different worlds._

_She is so kind and so beautiful. She holds such an innocent heart that tries to do good in this broken world by fixing it of all its wrong while I’d rather watch it all burn to ashes._

_It is no wonder I love her._

_That I am in love with her_

 

_It breaks my heart that I can never be with her. But it rips me to shreds to think of her with someone else._

_Someone other than me._

“Good night, Carm” _Laura mumbles from above, breaking me from my thoughts_

“Good night, Cupcake.” _I whispered_

 

_I may be crazy for her, wishing for every kind of affection and love she can offer, but I know very well as much as I know I’m in love with Laura, that she does not feel the same for me._

 

 

 

_And she never will._

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: natashiyaa


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